Where have I been?, you might ask (or maybe not, if you’ve quit reading this blog for lack of any posts). I’ve been working, day and night it seems, for the last several months. My VPN software was both a blessing and a curse, allowing me to get a lot done in a day, yet work beyond my 40-hour week. It wasn’t just one week, but several weeks in a row, all connected to become a month (or more- I’ve lost count).

Why so much work? I don’t know. When it rains, it pours, right? Several projects converged at one time, like overflowing streams flowing into one river that overspread its banks. I was swept away in the ensuing flood, caught up in the powerful current and pulled downstream away from familiar landmarks. I was planning my nights and weekends around work, cramming it in when my family wasn’t around, finding myself disappointed when my evening plans prevented me from working additional hours.

Then the unexpected happened. No, I didn’t burnout in a ball of flames. My laptop died on me. My whole absurd work-from-home obsession came to a screeching halt in one failed boot of my laptop. I’ve never felt so lost. It wasn’t that I lost files or programs; those were backed up. It was that I lost control. I lost myself.

I’m happy to report that I have a new laptop and most of my files and programs have been restored. We’re learning about one another, sort of like a very long first date. I’m re-installing the VPN software, but will not be obsessed with using it every night and weekend. I can’t read, relax, write or spend time with my family if I can’t wait for them to get out of my way so I can just get some work done. The work will be there in the morning, waiting for me as it always has. If it doesn’t get done by 5pm, then too bad. I can’t lose control and lose myself again. If I do that, then who will be there to do the work– at any time of the day?